Epiphany…

Posted on May 2, 2014

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They happen at the oddest times and in the oddest places, am I right?

So mine happened this morning in the shower while getting ready for work. People in my close social circle know I’ve been struggling with some issues over the past year or so. Trying to be the “right kind of person” and swallowing the anger, frustration and irritation so that “everybody gets along” is the way I try to live my life. It’s the right thing to do…Be kind, treat everyone as if they are the most important and special person in the world…Give of yourself completely without reserve AND you will get good back. I’ve always believed this, always felt it.

I’ve also been told that if I let go and tell people they are wrong, they are hurtful, they are behaving inappropriately then this person will withhold certain privileges I hold dear. (Yes I’m being intentionally vague because I’m still struggling to tell these people how I feel without being hurtful or coming off hateful) Anyway…back to the epiphany…So while I’m showering and playing these things in my mind it occurs to me: I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT CAUSING PAIN TO OTHERS!!!! I mean, basically it boils down to this: I’m not as important, my feelings, my opinions, my possessions don’t matter! I DONT MATTER! I DONT COUNT! I am so unimportant in the lives of others that I am supposed to bow down and respect others, let others treat me and my possessions as if they are garbage, beneath contempt.

My boyfriend has been “harping” on how I’m not respecting myself by being “a pushover” but I failed to see the truth in his words…I’m IMPORTANT! I MATTER! And from now on, I’m “growing a pair” and putting it out there. I love all parties involved in this stressful situation but I’m tired of being on the losing end.

Yes, this rant has nothing to do with writing…well not a lot anyway. I HAVE been reinspired to kill people again….

Now to the interactive portion of this blog: When did your latest epiphany hit? Did it change your life for the better? Did it make matters worse? Did things move in a horizontal angle?

Oh! Okay just did a quick time check and I’m running behind…Have a GREAT weekend y’all!

Huggles and HAPPY READING!

 

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